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| Miss you; maybe |
As my time in my familiar spaces grows shorter, and I think, 'Self, what will I miss?' That's an interesting thought, when you stop to examine. Would it make more sense to think of the things I won't miss? I don't want to write screed, so I'm going to avoid that.
But let's start by considering what it means to miss something or someone. Here's my perspective- I always like to think that if you miss something, that means you liked it in the first place. It (whatever it is) brought some pleasure, reassurance or satisfaction. I've got a long list, which is a good sign. Best to leave on good terms with fond memories. Right?
Here's a list in no particular order:
- Chicago Smelts
- Northshore Book Club
- Bike rides around Northwestern University
- Ba Le Sandwhiches- the sardine sub rocks!
- Taquerias on Clark Street
- Summer Sundays at Hollywood Beach - which I guess is now Osterman Beach and thus betrays me as old skewl
- Office space and friends at Creative Commune
- Being alone in my own home (sometimes)
I'd love to hear from you. Have you moved a lot? What do you think of the concept of missing?
Let's discuss...
So, does this mean you're moving? Or just musing about moving? It took me over a year to get over "missing" Chicago and my friends there, even though I have many good friends where I am now. The nice thing about Chicago (or any town, for that matter) is that you can always return. And things are often pretty much the same when you return as you left them. So, do I still miss Chicago now, 18 months in at a new location? Not as much as I once did, but I still really like to visit! Ask me Monday, though, and I might feel differently.
ReplyDeleteDaniel, where are you going and do you need help packing? In terms of moving advice, since I will now have four state IDs, I recommend being open and excited toward everything new! It's hard at first, but as long as you are enthusiastic, the universe will send positivity your way!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I HAVE to try that sandwich! ;-)
ReplyDeleteOn the afternoon I arrived in Chicago, fresh off the plane from my homeland, I felt so unanchored that I wrote a six-page letter to my mother (while sitting on the lawn of Medgar's apartment building), telling her how much I understood what it meant for her to emigrate decades before.
I - we (Conrad and I) - will miss you
@TheLisaDShow- do you have extra moving boxes? That would be oh so welcome.
ReplyDelete@phepbu- yes, I can see in this all of what you write. Maybe to get our barrings, we have to let go of a few of them. Hmmm. I shall miss you both muchly!
Missing really adds a dimension of beautiful depth to the landscape you embark on anew. It's an anchor that grounds where your feet have never stepped before...imagine walking somewhere new and having nothing to keep your gravity down...to me "missing" does..it tells me what I sought before that made a place home, if only to serve as a historical parameter to appreciate where I am today. Landscapes change always even when you're not moving--but it's allowing yourself to see your own depth with your past experiences, that will bring space to give weight to all that is new. I'd be totally lost in a new place if I didn't have something or someone to miss in my previous landscape.
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Giuseppe
I will miss you horribly, but now I have a great reason to make a trip to CA. I hope you find adventure, fulfillment and peace in your new home. And I am sure you'll find a new Vietnamese sandwich shop to haunt.
ReplyDelete@giuseppe- you continue to be my hero! I <3 you too, babe!
ReplyDelete@heidi- beautifully written/said! Yes you must- there is a bay you must swim!
I moved a lot as a kid, and so, when Steve and I bought a home, I told him he could pick it out, because once we bought a house, that was going to be it for me. When I leave, it will be in a pine box. I love Chicago with all my heart, and I will never leave it. Even so, I still have the experience of missing people as they move away, or die. I also miss every pet I ever had who died. I have a long list of Smelts who have moved away and whom I miss, not all of whom you know. You do know dear Medgar, Tim, Brian, Liz. I could go on and on about all of the beloveds I miss, but I can sum up missing beloveds as a recurrent, bittersweet pang in the heart as I experience something I used to enjoy with them. It's hard to miss people, and places, or the past, but it is a sign of having really lived your life. You miss people because you opened yourself up to loss by loving someone and letting them into your heart. I am a big believer in leading with your heart. Anything less than that is cowardly, in my view. It's cheating yourself of the richness of life. I really will miss you, Daniel, you are an essential Smelt. You are my very own personal Oscar Wilde. I think of things you said sometimes weeks later and laugh, all by myself, and look like a mentally ill person in public. I don't care, I cherish these bon mots very dearly. I will never forget your easy kindness to my children, so full of respect for them as human beings, so devoid of adult condescension, so dignified! I really, really appreciate all of the things you did for the Smelts, behind the scenes, as you said. I feel sad thinking of you leaving, I really do, but I wouldn't have missed the chance to be your friend for anything! I love you, Daniel! Ruth
ReplyDelete